How Long Would You Last?

1. You've put on your best clothes and you're at the interview. Ms. Harper makes a smarmy comment about you. What is your response?
You reply with your own smarmy comment. Snappy!
You remind her that as an intern, you don't get paid.
You walk out the door - you don't take that kind of crap.
You apologize for your deficiency and vow to improve.
You shrug and change the subject.

2. Amazingly, you are hired. Ms. Harper is busy telling you the most vital things you'll need to know for your new job. What do you do?
You listen carefully and maybe even take notes.
You completely zone out because this job is a piece of cake.
You sort of listen, there might be something interesting. She might say you're hot.
You listen, but can't help getting distracted by interesting nooks and hallways.
You think this sounds like more than you bargained for and wish you hadn't signed up.

3. Ms. Harper has cut you loose and you're off to put some Things where they go. The first interesting thing to distract you also grabs your head - it's alive! Your reaction?
You scream comically and hold very, very still.
You say a mental prayer and vow not to go near anything curious ever again.
You take a second to get your bearings and then try to make friends with it.
You wet your pants, giving you a good excuse to go home.
You jump back and flail your arms uncontrollably, then run away.


4. You know it's your first day, but the only thing you're allowed to do so far is file some papers. What are you thinking?
"Thank God. I hope this keeps up."
"She's just starting me off easy. I'll probably get worse things later."
"I'm going to have to talk to her about this lack of trust."
"When do I get to see all the dangerous stuff?"
"I guess I'm going to have to go looking for the interesting things."


5. On the second day, you get to meet Mr. Tavlin. What do you do?
You stare at his eyebrow/s, mesmerized.
You ask him how he stays sane having to deal with this place.
You suggest to him that Ms. Harper may not be entirely sane, herself.
You ask him if he knows of any internship opportunities in his off-site office.
You don't think this is strange at all, so you make friendly conversation with him.

6. You're not really sure where you are. You've passed by a lot of pretty strange things, and you think some of them might have been watching you pretty closely. What do you do?
You shrug and deal with it. You don't plan to aggravate them.
As soon as you find it, you're going to march right out the exit.
You vow to get a map from Ms. Harper.
You tell Ms. Harper that you're uncomfortable with wandering away so far without Golem to protect you.
You plan to bring a heavy flashlight and a gun next time, just in case.


7. There's been some rumors that the previous interns haven't lasted very long. What's your explanation?
Pansies, all of them.
Ms. Harper probably drove them away.
Idiots. They probably got what they deserved for being stupid.
If they were smart, they'd have quit.
Huh. I wonder what happened to them all.

8. You think that one of the Dangerous Things is trying to mess with your head. What do you do?
Give it a leery eye and avoid it whenever possible.
Yell at it, whether it speaks your language or not.
You ignore it - if it wanted to kill you it would have done so by now.
You try to drag Golem along with you everywhere - you know that most of the Things respect him.
You wonder why God hates you so much.

9. Ms. Harper is feeling generous, and lets you watch some 4th of July fireworks from the rooftops. What do you do?
Enjoy it while it lasts.
Hit on her.
Ask yourself why you're here when you don't have to be.
Ask to help set some of the fireworks off.
Wonder where all those fireworks are stored.

10. OK, you screwed up. The old naked bald guy that lives in the jar hypnotized you into stripping naked and sitting on the floor. Ms. Harper comes along and yells her head off at you. What's your immediate response?
Grab your clothes and start making excuses.
Hit on her.
You're mortified - you go home to try and rebuild your courage.
You yell at the bald guy who's hiding in the jar now - it's all his fault.
Whatever. You've got a job to do. She'll get over it.