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Self-Guided Tour: The Alchemycal Chambyre

The Faerie Pot

It's a cute little piece of pottery. Wee faeries live in it. The alchemist kept them to help him with his lab work - especially measuring out the little particles to exact amounts. Their fingers are smaller. Of course, (most) alchemists die, and (most) faeries don't, so these poor things are still here. They don't feel like leaving.

Godling Chest

Can you trap a god, cram it in a somewhat large oaken chest banded with gold-plated lead, put some locks and magical symbols on it, and distill their essences for a wide variety of  misguided and usually lethal alchemy procedures? No. But you can do that with little gods. They don't like it much, but it isn't like they can pick the locks from the inside.

Ingredients (for mashing)

Sometimes, alchemists developed their processes through careful examination of substances and their properties. And sometimes they just tried whatever. Things like leaves, prehistoric claws, pretty rocks, dried mermaids, sulfa powder, worms, and of course fire. The shelves in this room are crammed with this kind of crap. Gee, maybe we can make gold with them! (OK, that was a cheap shot....)

Love Potions

They honestly work. And there's many more than I can show you here. Some of them come in more obscene-looking containers, others make you fall in love on sight, and some of them are too big or small to fit on the paper. Some of them smell too bad to get close to. Anyway, these are dangerous! But you don't want them anyway. They're flawless. The person loves you when you are making an ass of yourself at a party. They love you when you make the bathroom a biohazard zone. They love you ALL the TIME. No one needs that. You'll go crazy. Just do it the hard way.

Philosopher's Wand

It looks pretty plain, but alchemists tend to be frugal, straightforward types of people. Alchemical symbols for lead are balanced on each compass point, and a nugget of Philosopher's Stone is suspended in the center of the ring, making the alchemical dot-in-circle symbol for gold. A flexible webbing of platinum filaments is suspended between the compass arms. I have no idea how. The wand changes lead into gold. Imagine if it fell into the wrong hands! A carpenter in England came across this while restoring an old manor house. He used it to test the paint on the walls for lead, and also to make himself filthy rich. When he was satisfied, he sent it to the RDT. Two months later, he was found dead under suspicious circumstances.

Pet Brain

This gangly, top-heavy fellow was once an alchemist himself. He thought he had discovered the Elixir of Everlasting Life, but he was a little off. His brain survived, but his body died. Now his brain is cursed to squishy, flailing nerve immortality. He guards the room, and especially the Philosopher's Wand. He's quite intelligent, and Davis has taught the pet brain to do his calculus homework for him. In return, Davis plays a game with the brain in which he pokes random various sense areas. Smells like peas! God that feels good! I can see a rainbow! It's almost like living again. Aww.

2002-2004 Amanda Hardy