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Comic Book
Depository
As any repressed adult
can tell you, comic books are tools of the devil. They rot the mind.
Funnybooks are food only for fire. Countless comic books, from the
all-American Commie-bashing Captain America to the enigmatic and driven
Lone Wolf and Cub, have been relegated by overanxious parents to the
depths of the R.D.T.'s filing system, bagless and boardless, to save the
creativity and imagination of children worldwide. |
Big Book of
Inflammatory Words
Ms. Harper has
thoughtfully kept a list of the words that she has found, through
exhaustive empirical research methods, most likely to anger people in
general conversation. It is obvious why some of the words therein make
people so mad, but others are completely baffling. Ms. Harper finds it a
convenient place to refresh her verbal sparring skills. Incidentally, Ms.
Harper has found that the word that makes Davis most red in the face is
"misplaced." |
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Indian Food
Cookbooks
It's a sad fact that 1
in 562,000 Americans die from eating Indian Food. It's the spices and
flavorings. They are delicious, but unfamiliar digestive territory. |
Missing Persons
Directory
No one ever really
vanishes without a trace. Not Jimmy Hoffa, not Elvis Presley, not even
Ambrose Bierce. Entries include Osama Bin Laden, Amelia Earhart, D.B.
Cooper, all of the 5th Beatles, Glenn Miller, Nazi war criminals, that one old
lady, Deep Throat, the second gunman, the Zodiac killer, Nicole's real
killer, etc. |
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Treasure Map Trove
Pirates of the Caribbean
were real, and these are the maps to prove it. In fact, pirate treasure
maps from all over the world are collected here. (It's just that the
western hemisphere guys tended to hide their treasure more often.) Pirates
aren't stupid - they make their treasure hard to get. Anyone who tried to
follow these maps would probably die horribly. That's why they're here.
They're dangerous. |
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